Wednesday, January 27, 2010
My current state of Mind.
My insides feel weak, awful, like im gonna puke or something. I just broke up with him (was that even a relationship to start with?) well, we ended 'it' and i'm still trying to locate my feelings. Spliting up was definately the best option as the attraction between us was purely physical. I also found out that he has a girlfriend. We were togeda for d wrong reasons, I was curious about him coz of the air of mystery around him, like a man who's got a secret, he got closer to me coz he likes my guts, confidence and outspoken manner. He says the only time he gets to speak correct, fluent English is when he is with me, he says I have helped to develop his vocab and I challenge him mentally. INSULT!!! So the only thing I meant to him was a freaking dictionary? I'm the kind of girl that doesn't shut up for you in an argument just because u are a guy. Lai lai, find another excuse. I got the hint that he thinks we cant work coz I aint submissive (that word makes me laugh), It has been misconstrued especially by guys, they are quick to make reference to the Bible about submissiveness and they neglect the part where God asks the men to respect the women. I submit, you respect me bac and we are cool, but I submit and u walk ova me like a footmat, that aint gonna happen. I miss him, i can still smell him on my shirt from the last time he held me (sumbodi beg me to wash that shirt coz i still keep sniffing it). My emotions are all over the place, I feel like crap. Funny thing is that this dreadful feeling sets in wen it gets dark and i'm alone, then i find my thoughts going bac to him. But once it's daytime I get occupied and there is hardly any chance to mope over him. I know that i am strong, i can do this! I need u guys to pray for me so i can recover from a broken heart. P.s: I know it seems like i always come here to whine and complain, that's just coz this is the only place I can do that. I'll try to put up cheerful post though.